it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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