A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
my poor anus
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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