i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
