But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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