NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize