What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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