no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I am midnight drunk by noon
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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