He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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