Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I can't put those talents on a resume
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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