i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
