i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
