So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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