Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
