he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
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