is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize