I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
