I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
