You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
