he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize