So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
