I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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