I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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