Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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