I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
