Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
