I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We have started to decorate penises.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
