You really coming over, don't trick.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
