I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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