they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
