i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
