Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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