is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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