so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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