god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
