I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he thought i was a dude.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize