i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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