Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
