I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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