How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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