I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I got inside last night via doggy door
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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