My nipple is on Facebook.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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