Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
