Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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