You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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