On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize