Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize