Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
