I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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