I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
