I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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