Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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