I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
