Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
