four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
