Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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