we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
