Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
