9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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